When will I ever be able to go a day without the day I lost you running through my head. It rises the bile into my throat, the panic, the fear as I watched them run into your room. Hearing the sounds, lights, running. Them bringing us to a room. Numbness prayers. Disbelief. I replay every second of that day, could I have done anything? It looked so good. But it took a wrong turn. I always end up with tears streaming down my face, broken hearted. I feel like you took part of me with you. There's a hole inside my soul that can't ever be patched. I tried. I tried to numb it. Work, until I got fired for losing it at work, psychiatric hospital for a month, desperately hoping to help myself. I just don't know how to go on without you. Still. Tears. Swallowing pain, trying to get by without the twin flame that I lost. Losing, you, losing me. God, why is that lump in my throat so big today? Everything I see or do reminds me of you. I want to escape but I can't. I will cry until the tears run dry, and I know I will be okay. But I need to know you are still out there in some form, watching over me. I need you.
