Seriously. I have been dealing with a small issue that has me scared and at the mercy of doctors and their fabulous timing. See, i had a headache for four months. Every damn day. Combine that with stupidity at a communication level you have one weirded out neurologist who will stop at nothing to find what lies beneath. So I had a CT scan done of that piece of tissue between my ears, the brain. They seen on one slice a "hyperdense 2-3mm focus" and "motion artifacts which made reading the scan difficult". Of course the small hyperdense focus is near the "foramen of monro" in the "anterior ventricle of my brain" in laymans terms despite the terrible issues with the scan, this small hyperdense focus is in the prime spot to be something called a colloid cyst. A colloid cyst is a growing cyst made up of all sorts of fun funky crap. It can block the flow of fluid in your brain and cause an enlargement of the ventricles and kill you. The cure? Invasive brain surgery to remove the cyst. Anyway they said it is not ruled out and i had to do an MRI to confirm or rule out said potential cyst so, i have been scared as hell processing a potential little asshole in my head that could change my life forever, and I schedule the MRI. I go there and thanks to my big ole lipoedema arms i barely fit in the MRI tube. Of course they can't scan you like that. Not to mention i nearly died of a panic attack going into that god forsaken tube of creepiness. The only thing good was the awesome people who were there. (Waves to buffy) So they scheduled me for an open MRI. Seriously, that thing looks like a giant hamburger bun and my butt was smack dab in the middle. This made me the meaty goodness inside the MRI bun. So i have the scan yesterday complete with a very bloody IV with contrast (i was being a thin blooded bleeding freakshow for some reason yesterday), and creating songs in my head when i heard the hellacious noises that machine makes (i may have created the next hit industrial song from my time in the scanner. trent Reznor should hit me up for the melody)... And now i wait. I'm trying to stay hopeful but it is scary facing something like this. I guess it has taught me to have gratitude for my life now, and that i need to stop sweating the dumb things. You learn from fear i think, and i hope to god this turns out to be nothing. Time will tell. Now to resist stalking the doctor until they give me the results. (Seriously. I will sit outside of his house with binoculars and a large 44oz soda hooting like an owl just for effect lol) I just want to move on with whatever the next step may be. Either rejoicing in a head free of lumps of blobby crap, or facing having my head poked in like some sort of zombie appetizer on a stick. Time will tell. Just breathe. And for god sake wash the damn dishes. Your kitchen looks like hell.
