Being sick like I have been has opened my eyes to the things that matter in this world. Happiness. Life, living it to the fullest every day. Companionship. Compassion for others. To be able to live in each others shoes. I have found through being sick, through chemo drugs, through high dose prednisone, I have learned to live, oddly enough. I used to not understand sick people. I used to not want to be near them because I was uncomfortable with them. I did not know how to act. Now I do, because the shoe has been on the other foot.
Oddly enough, all I have been through in life has given me a sense of compassion for others, a love for life I would not have had otherwise. Through this illness I have gained hope. I have known fear. Failure, heartache, loneliness. I have came out the other side with Success, love, companionship. I have learned to let go and let life happen, to go with the flow. Yes, I can't do the things I used to yet. I will get there. Yes I gained a lot of weight, but I will lose it someday. My body will hopefully go into remission from this disease of mine, and I will be able to run a marathon, but until then I have dreams and goals. And from here on out I refuse to let life slip by. I have a list, and I am going to do everything on it...and every opportunity that comes my way that is good for me, and doesn't hurt others, I will take.
Life is too short to worry about the things so many worry about. Money, items, prestige, power. None of that will matter when you go. All that matters when you go are the memories you have made with those you love. They will comfort you when you are afraid, and they will be how you live on. Your money won't do that. Through your life, you stay alive, even in your death.
Why am I writing this? I have seen myself and others I care about get serious illnesses, I have seen a kid on the brink of death get a second chance at life. I have seen myself, over a year ago unable to walk, move, dress myself, or do anything...ready to give up and with months left to live without treatment slowly turn around. I can walk, even though I am slow. I can drive, have a nice place, have a great boyfriend who I adore, I am back in school...hopeless to hope, and I am ready to make more wonderful memories with those I love...because I have also lost people in my life, and the worst thing I have found about losing them is this...not having made time with them to create memories so they can stay alive in my heart. I would give the world to have that chance. I hope everyone of you takes time to make memories with people you care for, even a little bit. I know I will and am. :)
Great job keeping strong and even better on the other side. You might still have hills to climb, but by gosh, a positive attitude goes a long way. Keep it up and those hills will be a distant memory, while you will be able to make lots of new ones. Much peace, comfort and strength to ya. : )..
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